Friday, May 1, 2015

Ten things I wish I could tell prospective Airbnb guests

  1. Don't be a tire kicker. For some inexplicable reason, Airbnb encourages guests to send inquiries to multiple hosts.  Guests craft some generic message and send it to a dozen listings (loosely) meeting their criteria.  

    But for us hosts, but it's super annoying to get an inquiry, take the time to answer their questions/respond to their messages only to find out your “perfect” place isn't so perfect after all—and the guest went w/ another property.  

     
  2. Get verified. Lots of guests complete the bare minimum to register with airbnb and start messaging hosts about staying at their properties, or worse, send a reservation request (see #3). You have to explain the verification process—which is required (adding a phone number, email, uploading a photo, and verifying your identity)--and often have to guide them through the process. And then sometimes after that you still don't get the booking. Or the guest gets frustrated and gives up trying to become verified and no one gets the booking. Everyone loses—yay.

  3. Provide me w/ info, don't just make a booking request. I have a little secret for you:  we vet you.  Maybe not vet like you're running for office vet, but we want to make sure you're not a weirdo/high maintenance hotel person/ potential psychopath.  And do that we need info--or at least a message from you that's friendly and somewhat intelligent.  And when you make a booking request?  That blocks out those dates and disallows others from booking it.  So if you turn out you aren't a fit for the property, I could have lost a booking from someone else because you done blocked out my calendar.

  4. Don't (aggressively) haggle. I don't mind if people ask if there's a discount. Hey, I like to save money as much as the next person; just be reasonable about it. If it's the middle of the week or if the stay is longer than a week, I try to give a discount. But this is not a souk, people, my properties are fairly priced and asking for a 50% discount for a two night stay over a holiday weekend is just insulting. 
     
  5. Read the listing and look at the photos. I carefully craft my listing descriptions. I include the layout/amenities of the apartment, the proximity to major attractions/schools/businesses. I mention proximity to public transit, restaurant/retailer/grocery options w/in walking distance. But I still get guests who ask questions that could be answered if they read the description or looked at the photos. They are usually stupid questions, like "Does your apartment come with a kitchen?" or "How many beds are in your apartment?"

  6. No pets mean no pets. I love dogs. I love cats. But one out of five people are allergic to pets. I'm sure Fluffy Foo Foo and Fido the Dog are as loveable and well behaved as you say. But can you prevent them from shedding? And can you tell me with 100% certainty how they are going to react in an unfamilar environment like my apartment? Nope, didn't think so. This is why my properties are pet free. Please do not call me names or insist that I reconsider or ask me to “bend the rules just this one time”. Because I won't and calling me names—that's why God invented web sites like this, so I can call you an #*$&#.

  7. Include children aged 2+ in the occupancy count. “But they're small and don't take as much space as adults!” Um, do they poop? Take showers/baths? Walk on the carpet? Use towels, blankets, sheets? Require lights to see? Watch TV? Use their Kindle/iPad/Laptop/electronic thingy? Then they count, because all of those things cost me money. Never mind when your perfect child grinds raisins and cheerios into the carpet, or decides their next work of art involves a sharpie and my kitchen wall. That's just an added bonus of having your perfect darling stay at my place.

  8. Respect and honor occupancy maximums. All listings have occupancy limits included in the descriptions. If the cap is four but a guest has a baby that would make it five, OK that's within the area of rule bending. 

    But please don't ask me if two couples and four grade school children would be OK. It's not. And I don't care if “the kids can just sleep on the floor in sleeping bags”. Warehousing is for products, not for people, people.

  9. Don't ask me if the neighborhood is safe. I may tell you that other than the junkies shooting up at every corner and the two gangs declaring a turf war down the street, it's just like paradise.  Or then again, maybe I'll say despite the fact that it's riddled with crime, beyond any sense of reason or logic I still decided to put every dime I have into this property--I decided to live there, too! Seriously, why would anyone ask a question like that? If an urban neighborhood frightens you or freaks you out, there's a lovely Marriott in Cranberry you should check out.

  10. Understand the difference between an airbnb stay and a hotel stay. Airbnb is a great way to save money while getting to know a city through the eyes and experience of having a helpful host. But an airbnb stay is different than staying at the Marriott. You're going to be staying in a room in someone's house, or in my case, you've rented an apartment where the host is not on site. There won't be (usually) amenities like a pool, workout center, 24 hour room service, and daily maid service. Airbnb hosts (Gasp! The horror! The horror!) are not tied to the property like they are under house arrest. They have jobs and friends and commitments outside of the home that prevent them from physically being at the property around the clock. Expect and demand a service like a 24/7 front desk clerk at your beck and call? I know of a lovely Marriott in Cranberry that would be happy to take your reservation.  Or you can stay at this slice of paradise shown above.  It's actually in Marrakesh, so you would also have the bonus of practicing your haggling skills at an actual souk.

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